Tough Mudder

Starting off a very jam-packed weekend of activities with Tough Mudder!

I had mixed feelings about this event - when I first heard about it a couple of years ago and before there was even a Toronto event scheduled, and before I'd done any other obstacle races, I thought this would be so totally awesome. A team-building muddy challege perfect for any graduate of Soldiers of Fitness.

Then once I signed up nearly a year ago, I started really fretting about certain of the challenges - such as the monkey bars traverse and the one where you have to jump off a cliff into water below (a great one for someone with both a fear of heights and a fear of being under water!) Then they started bringing in the electro-shocks, and I got really anxious. But I decided that I have loads of time to prepare for and overcome these issues. I planned to go to a pool with a dive tower and work my way up to jumping off a pretty big height - our impromptu bungee jump from 200ft into water on Canada Day kind of eliminated that necessity! Then I saw photos of my friend TH conquering the 10,000 volt shock wires in a US event, and I realized it can't be the end of the world.

Soldiers of Fitness - We do it in the mud!

TH actually created a group to run our event with, as he was visiting family up here, so I joined in. Later on, the SOF crew created a huge team as well, so I hoped to see them on the course. With over 19,000 people registered over two days, it seemed everyone I knew, down to the most unlikely person, would be at Tough Mudder. Getting into the event site required some luck and wiliness. I cut across a country road to get into the parking lot ahead of others, and snagged the last spot on a shuttle bus from the back of the line when they needed a single person to fill it. Still, everyone was at least an hour late for their wave, and I had no hope of finding TH and our team. It was more great luck that I saw the orange t-shirts of the SOF group All the Way and Then Some - so I decided to switch teams and go out with all my old training mates.

Tough Mudder is not a timed race, it's more of an experience. You are expected to take an oath at the start to help others and accept their help. After all the cut-throat Spartan races I'd done, I wasn't all that into this, but going through it with SOF was the best way to experience this event. We had quite a big team, so we were moving comfortably slowly with lots of laughs and pats on the back. It really brought back great memories of the teamwork that is so central to SOF.

The obstacles had a totally different feel than the Spartan ones. On the one hand, many of them were insurmountable for someone of my size without the help of big, strong friends. But others were quite a bit easier, as they were constructed in a really orderly and neat sort of way. Case in point was the low wire crawl - which had regular wire below the barbed wire for safety (!) plus there were neat trenches dug, so that each person had their own little lane. Not for me.

Arctic Enema was a double dip into frigid water tanks that totally took my breath away; it did help with the heat though! The Berlin Walls were Spartan-style but so big that only the taller guys and gals could manage to catch the top and pull themselves over; I needed a leg up. The Mud Mile was just a long shallow pond crossing - more annoying than anything else. I tried swimming it, but took a mouthful of the most disgusting quarry water ever - blech! Hanging Tough was my first big failure - these were American Gladiator-style rings to swing on; I'm proud to say that I managed one full transition to the next ring before I dropped. Spider's Web is the cargo net climb, and despite the oath on helping others, for some reason we weren't allowed to pull the net taut!

Trench Warfare would test the resolve of anyone with claustrophobia - it's a rather long and tight underground tunnel crawl; I'm very proud of one of our teammates for getting all the way through it. Up next was Walk the Plank, where not one but two of my phobias would come in to play. I'm really grateful for the bungee jump, which was from a height over 10 times this one. I looked at the pool of murky water 15+ft below me but didn't hesitate much and jumped off. It did seem like I was underwater forever though!

Greased Lightning was more fun than obstacle - a huge downhill slip-n-slide which I took head-first like most of my friends. But what comes down must come up in these events. Over the course of a few hours we went up the ski hills at least four times, and this is where most people struggled, same as at the Spartan Beast. Thankfully because it wasn't a race for most people, there were very few "dead bodies," as we like to call those who have become stricken by dehydration and severe cramping from pushing themselves too hard for their level of fitness.

I'm not in this pic - but look at the climb on that thing!

Next up was the other strength obstacle I was sure to fail - the pyramidal Funky Monkey bars over another pool of water. I don't know where I mustered the strength in my grip (I have none!) and the mental calmness to pull myself across, having to climb ever higher with each bar and watching others drop off all around me. I took it one bar at a time, regrouping with both hands on rather than swinging - it worked! I got across! I consider this my second-best triumph in strength since I went up to the top of the rope climb at the Spartan Beast.

Electric Eel was another big challenge - a watery low crawl in between hanging electrified wires. Our first taste of high voltage. If you were adept at these crawls like me and picked a good path, you could avoid the shocks. I only took two hits, and although I can't describe them as painful, they were kind of mentally paralyzing. Horrible. I just couldn't wait for the elecroshock finale.

Right before the end, Hold Your Wood was a rather tame version of SOF's log p.t. with our big log Pain. The option was to carry a tiny chopped piece of log by yourself, or a full log with others. Although even the long logs were dry enough to be super-light, I really missed the old "up on left" / "switch!" / "down on right", so I grabbed my buddy AB and we motored up the hill with a log together for old times' sake.

           That's me!

The second last obstacle was a doozie - Everest (trademarked, WTF??) is a slippery curved ramp that few can run up on their own. Our former trainer CF quickly perched himself on top to grab the hands of any of us trying to get up. I caught his hand on the second try and got pulled up. And thanks to JW's boyfriend's tireless work on the camera, earned a really awesome photo too!

Having descended the mountain for the final time, we had to prepare ourselves for the inevitable Electroshock Therapy before crossing the finish line. The volunteer there urged us to stay in a tight group rather than going it alone. Well that works fine for the people in the middle, but what about the suckers at the front? Thankfully I'm small and ran through with a few minor shocks - hated every single one though. It's like time slows down each time you get shocked, and it seems to last forever. I'm very lucky though - two of our girls got hit so hard, they collapsed in the mud and had to be pulled out.

Couldn't avoid this tight mess of wires! You can just make out SC as she goes down after a bad hit.

This was a really fun event to do once. I definitely prefer the Spartan races, both for their set-up and their ethos. I won't be coming back, but I can say that I had so much fun with my old training team - it was like taking a school field trip! All the Way and then Some!

--Distance: 16km
--Duration: 3:35

Onward to Muskoka to attempt at helping with the adventure race Wilderness Traverse...